Dear [Mr. Gingrich/Ms. Palin/Mr. Beck],
I was, of course, proud and heartened to see your absolute commitment to defending our Constitution and our guaranteed freedom of religion except in the case of this one community center, with this one religion, within this one semi-defined radius, due to special circumstances.
It especially warmed my heart to hear you say, over and over, that your objection to building an Islamic community center within several blocks of Ground Zero has nothing at all to do with bigotry or intolerance. How could it? It’s simply a matter of circumstances and sensitivity to the needs of others.
That’s why I know you’ll be proud to support our proposed Lower Manhattan Polytheistic Worship Center. This project will give everyone from Druids to goddess-worshippers to free-form animists a place to meet, learn, and pray to the gods and goddesses of their choosing. (No need to worry – Christians are always welcome! Please rest assured that Jehovah will always have an equal spot in our pantheon, just like Freya and Baron Samedi.)
As you have said so often, America needs religion now more than ever. Can I also count on you to make a personal donation to this project? Just $25 can help ensure a beautiful Beltane for children across the community. And a Naiad-level $500 donation gets you free admission to our monthly Pan cake breakfast.
As a stalwart defender of our religious freedoms, I know that I can count on you to be a prominent and vocal champion of this center.
Whether you choose to donate or not, I look forward to your enthusiastic public statements on our behalf.
The Lower Manhattan Polytheistic Worship Center Project