So this trailer has been going around the net. My friend Yuri sent it to me and then, after some gibbering about it on Twitter, I resigned myself to the quiet, agonizing months-long wait until it became available on Netflix and I could be reunited with that piece of my soul.
Then on Friday Yuri checked in with a message that was essentially OHMYGODIT’SHEREIT’SPLAYINGHERE and so it was that he and his lovely wife Tara and my friend Matt and I saw a Sunday matinee screening of a movie that is so nuts that I actually had to check in with myself at one point to wonder if I was really seeing this or if I had simply lost my mind and started hallucinating.
For starters: You might assume, upon seeing the trailer, that the producers used up all the gold and blew all the best moments in the preview.
Not even close.
You need to see this movie.
I’ve said this to a few people, all of whom responded “That good, huh?” Those people are missing the point. No, it is not good. There is not one millisecond when it fails to be entertaining, but it is not good. When searching for information on the film, I saw an online review with the title “An Orgy of Stupidity.” That assessment is correct, but it also misses the point.
Enthiran transcends good and bad and and intelligent and stupid and simple and insane and even cinema itself. It’s just astonishing. It’s six movies packed into one with shards of every robot flick you’ve ever seen and musical numbers and OH, MY GOD, WILL YOU LOOK AT THE DETAIL ON THAT GIANT ROBOT COBRA THAT IS ITSELF MADE OUT OF ROBOTS HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING?!
The movie takes you to a state of near-enlightenment, a state of total presence, because all you can do is sit there and experience what’s happening in that exact moment and GOOD LORD THIS CAN’T BE TURNING INTO A MUSICAL NUMBER BUT SOMEHOW IT IS!!! AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY SUDDENLY IN MACHU PICCHU – No, shh, don’t question; just absorb the (cr)Aztec dance costumes and read the lyrics and GREAT JUMPING CROCODILES, DID SHE REALLY JUST SING THAT HE SHOULD SINK HIS EYETOOTH INTO HER?!
But really there’s no time to ponder the lyrics because SWEET FLIPPING SPINACH ON TOAST THIS ACTION SEQUENCE JUST STAPLE-GUNNED MY EYELIDS TO THE BACK OF THE THEATER .
I’m sorry for all the all-caps typing. The movie ended nearly eight hours ago and I’m still overstimulated. Enthiran essentially grabs you by the shirtfront and slaps you with amazing for three hours.
And even that doesn’t do it justice. We were honestly concerned about driving home afterward.
Driving, hell – who am I kidding? We were – and are – concerned about readjusting to and living in ordinary reality again.
At least until next weekend, when I, for one, am going back.
I don’t care what you’re doing. Drop it and see this movie. You need to experience what the Universe could be if only the forces of nature were hyperactive and 87% crazier.
I’ll stop writing about it now because I’m underselling. Just freaking go.
Your internal organs will go back to their original placement one day. I’m almost sure of it.