Posted by: Ali Davis | July 20, 2011

Shut up, Summer’s Eve.

You know what is really not helpful? Fake “girl power.”

Usually it’s just the heavy-sigh kind of annoying, like when Victoria’s Secret tries to convince young women that pink is some sort of deep personal creed.

But the new high-budget Summer’s Eve campaign so thoroughly twists and strangles the idea of female power that it bypasses annoying and slips straight into vile.

First of all, what year is this? Really, Summer’s Eve? “Boys fighting over you” is the only thing you could think of in the whole wide world to embody female power?

Do any women at all work for you or your ad agency?

If they do, did you listen to them? Because you have to do that second part for it to count.

These jerkesses in your commercial are supposed to be my bad-ass role models? Women who let men fight to the death over them and do not apparently care who wins as long as men are validating their hotness?

Passive women who give up all choice in their own romantic futures? Because if, Summer’s Eve, these men are supposed to be fighting for “the V,” as you suggest, does that mean they’re supposed to give it up – I’m going to go ahead and assume you Summer’s Eve folks think of it as “giving it up” – to the winner, no matter what?

Or does he have to buy an expensive dinner first? That is super-empowering!

If those are the awesome female role models you’re offering up, you can keep them. I’ll stick with Elizabeth Warren, Carol Burnett, and Xena, thank you very much.

And here’s the thing, you dipwads at Summer’s Eve: You are not allowed to make “female empowerment” commercials. Ever.

Your whole marketing strategy – the very existence of your entire product line – depends on making women feel insecure about their own bodies.

And then on getting women to use products that are not only completely unnecessary, they may actually cause real harm.

No, you don’t get to try to make women feel insecure by whispering lies that they are naturally unclean and then shout from the rooftops about how empowered women are if only they can artificially scent their genitals enough to make men hurt each other.

You really want to help women feel fantastic, confident, and powerful, Summer’s Eve?

Run a commercial apologizing for your entire existence and then close up shop.

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Responses

  1. What could be more insulting? The most powerful thing in the world….as long as it’s properly perfumed.

  2. Generally agreed, with a grain of salt, although personally I find the idea that my vagina is the centre of civilization pretty empowering.

    (Also, technically, they’re not fighting over YOU…they’re fighting over your cunt. Or something. Maybe it’s just semantics, which is its own issue altogether.)

    Anyway, I lulzed. Thanks!

  3. Dear god. Apologies, yes — or at the least they should have to be honest about what they’re saying here, and edit the commercials to replace that coy “IT” with “poontang.” And also “show it a little love” with “clean that shit up.”

  4. […] Davis takes issue with this one, saying: And here’s the thing, you dipwads at Summer’s Eve: You are not allowed to make “female […]


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